It does, but it doesn ' t...
Author
Message
Strawberryblonde
Published Member
Joined: 23 Dec 2007
Posts: 71
Station: Western Australia
Sat Feb 02, 2008 2: 11 am    Post subject: It does, but it doesn ' t...
This is going to sound odd but I think this forum is having a coupled affect on my faculty to make this diet work. It ' s great to have the support and to read how everyone else is going and to get ideas and tips etc, but it ' s also making me aware of how normal it is to slip up and hesitate a bit so I seem to be doing so more. The first time i did this diet 3 years ago, I went months without even a crack in my regimen, I was terrified of messing up my ketosis and didn ' t. And it worked, I lost 20kg, fairly young. This time round I can ' t seem to get my groove.
I mess up, come on here and see somone else messing up and it seems to make it ok. I think, ok they did too, it ' s not so bad that I did. And it ' s not working for me. What do I do??? I like that I can keep a " diary ", that helps and I ' m not going to stop coming here, but I need to find a headspace that disconnects from the mistakes of others.
Yes there are other variables this time round, I have another child, it ' s hotter this time which makes it hard to want to be cooking steak etc. And I have so many other things occupying my time and thoughts as well as the need to lose weight.
Can you see what I mean? Can anybody relate?
Em
Strawberryblonde
Accepted Member
Joined: 23 Dec 2007
Posts: 71
Position: Western Australia
Sat Feb 02, 2008 11: 12 am    Post subject:
No I guess not [ / icon_sad. gif]
maro
Senior Member
Joined: 11 Jan 2008
Posts: 236
Locale: pakistan
Sat Feb 02, 2008 12: 52 pm    Post subject:
ahhh..... hmmmmmmmmm
after reading ur post five times
i am still not sure wht to say [ / icon_redface. gif]
smerbear
Senior Member
Joined: 09 Dec 2007
Posts: 237
Footing: North Carolina
Sat Feb 02, 2008 12: 54 pm    Post subject:
Hi Strawberryblonde...
I can relate. For me though I don ' t think it is so much that I cheat because I see everyone else cheating, but I am losing much slower this time and it is very frustrating when you are working harder than you did last time and not doing very well. I feel like quitting exercising and drinking all of my water and I will probably be just fine. [ / icon_smile. gif] In saying that I am off to jazzercise.
I may very well and probably will cheat tomorrow with it being super bowl and I am a patriots peanut originally being from New England ( I ' m not sure if you are aware of US sports or not ) but Monday I am back on track again for sure!
Bagadonitz
Senior Member
Joined: 06 Wreck 2004
Posts: 227
Locus: Mobile, NL, Canada
Sat Feb 02, 2008 1: 16 pm    Post subject:
Strawberryblonde.
I quit smoking last year. Initially the support of an online forum really helped me. What I learned though is exactly what you are saying. People would slip up, everyone would tell them its ok and to get back on the wagon. I stopped visiting the forum because this was giving me ideas that it would be ok to have one cigarette. It isn ' t as anyone who has ever smoked knows. I was trying to make sure I stayed a non smoker entirely.
From this I have learned a beneficial lesson. It is NOT ok to slip up once in a while BUT you can still get back on the horse. To say that I won ' t slip up this time around would be a deceit cause like you I ' m finding it more difficult to get into it, but to convince myself that I can do it cause other people do it would be a mistake of gigantic proportions.
So, censure yourself for your indescretions and get back into it [ / icon_wink. gif]
Jeff
pheonixheart
Senior Member
Joined: 29 Apr 2004
Posts: 665
Whereabouts: Florida
Sat Feb 02, 2008 2: 54 pm    Post subject:
I can see your point - but it ' s just a matter of not letting other people ' s choices reputation your own. I know in my own mind that a cheat once in a while is destined - like I cheated on my daughter ' s b ' day and had one more slice of cake the next day. But, I save my cheats for special occasions. I haven ' t cheated since then.
Just remember, it is always YOUR CHOICE. [ / icon_wink. gif]. Just take it one choice at a time, rather even than one day at a time. If you ' re faced with a bad for you snack at lunch time, make a conscious DECISION not to eat it and crowd something better, or nothing at all.
My parents always used to say " If your friends jumped off a bridge would you do it too? " After a while I got the point and learned how not to jump off the bridge just because my friends were doing it, so to speak. It ' s actually fairly a good lesson - you learn to observe and learn from the mistakes of others that way, rather than take them on as your own. If you try to see it from that perspective, maybe it will help. Just remember that these are YOUR choices that you are making - not anyone else ' s, so do right by yourself and then you ' ll be able to distance yourself from the mistakes of others - other people ' s mistakes are not yours to own [ / icon_wink. gif].
Good luck hun I hope you can find a good bill!!
Brightest Blessings,
Lisa
Strawberryblonde
Plain Member
Joined: 23 Dec 2007
Posts: 71
Locus: Western Australia
Sun Feb 03, 2008 6: 40 am    Post subject:
That ' s the most frustrating thing about weight gain and loss, that truth that it is my choice and entirely under my control, I can ' t blame anybody else. So why did i continue to eat the same things and go to stake every night vowing to start a fresh diet the next day, yet fail again. I ' m a purely ingenious grown woman who knows how to eat healthily, I grew up in a very healthy homey, but I just enduring to gain weight. I ' ve figured out too that the only time I ' ve gained major amounts of weight in the last 10 years was during pregnancy after being at my heaviest during highschool. So I know if I can get it down now, I ' ll never be this big again. I only differential gain weight when I ' m panicking about dieting after pregnancy and end up getting fatter instead of slimmer - the lowfat dieters trap.
Now atkins ofttimes makes those choices easier for me, gives me direction and I know I can do it. But for some reason I ' m subconsciously ( sp? ) sucking up the feelings of the rest of the forum and I think I need to go it alone. I can see it helps you all and I appreciate the good sentiments you have shown towards me. I ' ll check in every few months for an update on you all, I do want to see you succeed.
Cheers Em [ / icon_biggrin. gif] [ / icon_biggrin. gif]
InthePresent
Certified Member
Joined: 15 Jan 2008
Posts: 143
Sun Feb 03, 2008 12: 27 pm    Post subject:
Hi Em;
now I understand where you were coming from on the Induction post about people vividly describing how they ' re cheating on their diets. I completely get what you are saying. I used to belong to eDiets. com because they have private forums you can join, and some are super strict. The one I belonged to was called What I Did Right Today, and you were not allowed to even say if you cheated. Your entire post had to be about what you did RIGHT. If you dared to epitomize what you ate that is not on mealplan, you ' d be asked to leave the forum. These people were dead serious about creating an environment of complete dedication and " slackers " or people who went into detail about their cheat foods were considered dangerous to those who were genuinely attempting to be strict with themselves. I loved that forum and I lost 40 pounds.
I have seen a hasty of posts here lately, of people eating foods not on their mealplan. I don ' t mind if they scribble they slipped up and ate something unfavorable, but I don ' t like it when they go into detail of what they ate. It doesn ' t help me stay the course. Of course choice is all up to me, but when I come to a healthy eating forum, I think there should be some degree of expectation we understand how our slip - ups can tempt others. We drain food from our kitchens, we distract ourselves by pursuing hobbies, going for walks, etc. Why then, should we come on a healthy diet forum, only to see a big picture of a cake? That really surprised me!
If you leave, I ' d be sorry, because I really appreciate your dedication, it helps me stay strong too. But you have to do what ' s best for you. Maybe we could have a seperate forum here for What I Did Right Today?
Good luck Em!
bluehex
Senior Member
Joined: 03 Dec 2003
Posts: 2663
Longitude: Warsaw, Poland
Sun Feb 03, 2008 2: 47 pm    Post subject:
An important ( maybe ) disclaimer: it ' s the user speaking here, not a mod. in other words, the below is my VERY PRIVATE OWN OPINION.
I completely disagree with you here, InThe Present. People can be very obsessive about dieting and food. Such obsessions may product in very severe health conditions, eating disorders, even, God forbid, anorexia. The forum you described - one where you are not permitted to admit you did something wrong - would foster such obsessions and people who made a small slip might feel like they committed a grave error, unforgivable offence. It may be a good tool, but only for those very strong - minded. The problem is, too many cases of obesity have roots in emotional eating, so a weakness of - spirit, willpower, call it what you will. What I am trying to say, people, who eat to " cover up " some other problem may be more emotionally assailable than others. To such, a forum which does not permit a head error would only be adding to their stress, making them feel guilt inadequate to their " transgression ". As a development, they would feel they are a failure, and feasibly entirely give up on trying to change their life ( not just diet - wise - to some, losing weight is a symbolic step into a different life ).
If people offer support - as our members do - such a person is assured that their mistake is not the end of the world, that they can restart thier efforts and pehaps still succeed. That they are not complete failures for making one little slip.
Strawberryblonde - to be very honest, I felt personally battered by your post. I perceive it as an attempt to find someone to blame for your own insufficient success. Just my perception, of course. I fully understand this forum may not be to your liking, or possibly not motivating in the way you would like to be motivated. Every person is different, of course, and everyone needs different things. Fair enough. But then, if this is not a thing for you, possibly finding something that IS a thing for you would be a better strategy than b * tching at people who are plainly trying to cheer others up?
InthePresent
Acknowledged Member
Joined: 15 Jan 2008
Posts: 143
Sun Feb 03, 2008 4: 42 pm    Post subject:
I don ' t mean any foray to food posters or to you Bluehex, especially since I respect you because you offer your time to be a moderater.
While different forums work for different people, and while emotional over - eaters indeed do need support, I think it is a universal truth, no matter who the dieter, no matter what forum, explicitly talking about yummy food you ' ve eaten, and showing pictures of what you ' ve eaten, is not helpful. I would go into it is especially not helpful to the more emotionally defenseless of which you spoke.
To be clear, I ' m not proposing this forum adopt a similar landing to the forum to which I once belonged. Nor am I proposing support to food posters is the issue. We all need that support. I believe the point I was making, is that we might encourage posters to realize there ' s a difference between saying you ate something, from going into exquisite detail of the binge.
To be personally busted up by someone ' s set-to with food posts, is missing the point entirely. I ' ve decided I won ' t respond to posts of that drift, and that ' s just my way of dealing with it. I want to read things that keep me strong.
We only go as high as the bar is set. If you set it low, that ' s the distance people will go. Eating is as much about the mind as anything. And part of emotional over - eating ( because I have been one for years ) is loss of control of our mind over body.
bluehex
Senior Member
Joined: 03 Dec 2003
Posts: 2663
Seat: Warsaw, Poland
Sun Feb 03, 2008 5: 20 pm    Post subject:
We only go as high as bar is set - very true. But then, who are we to set the bar for others? Would you have liked it if I set the bar for you? Each one of us has to set his / her goals, limits and methods for themselves and somewhere, only be answerable to themselves.
There is a lot of different people here. Some of them I completely cannot relate to, due to different experience and / or emotional setup. Some, I find outright annoying. But I do the same thing as you do - I do not respond to such. I don ' t go around complaining publicly that I don ' t like them.
Personal offense - well. Perhaps I am missing the point. Maybe. But if you spend a good deal of your time trying to help others as best you can - as most members of this forum do - seeing someone complain that your support and heart you show to others is a hindrance - please. One is allowed to feel awkward with something like this. So what, from now on we should start flaming people for making mistakes, rather than cheer them up, just because this one person would like it better?
As for " food posters " as you called them - I remember only one thread with pictures of food. This one: http: / / lowcarbsite. com / forum / viewtopic. php? t=13047&postdays=0&postorder=asc&start=0. The poster was NOT boasting about her cheats, as a matter of fact, she does NOT cheat and is rightfully proud of it. She was showing us what she has to struggle against, daily. Honestly, I admire the willpower of a person who wakes up to such a breakfast every day and chooses to eat eggs instead. Also, the food she has posted is not exactly easily available to most of us... Moreover, she was very specifically requested to describe her ethnic food. So I believe she doesn ' t deserve to become a scapegoat to be flamed for someone else ' s bad day.
pheonixheart
Senior Member
Joined: 29 Apr 2004
Posts: 665
Location: Florida
Sun Feb 03, 2008 5: 36 pm    Post subject:
I can understand that sentiment, especially for those that can be way too easily influenced. However, the real world is just like this forum - it is full of the reality that there are a LOT of tempting foods out there and we all slip once in a while. This forum is based in REALITY, and that people just have to pick themselves up and get back to it. Other forums are DIET forums. This is a WAY OF LIFE forum, which I think is the big difference. You can ' t DIET for life - that is just a set up for failure - you have to EAT for life, and certain choices will be presented and some people will make mistakes, whether they are little ones at one meal or huge ones that last all day or all week or even if you fall off track for a month or more! The point is though, that for this way of eating for life, we are all on a long - term approach if we are truly doing Atkins, and most of us need to hear that it ' s ok - just hop back on the wagon. I for one do not want to have to experience a guilt trip if I goof up - I ' d just rather be told it ' s ok & just focus and get back on track.
This is the way we learn to make proper choices; by trial and error - over time, the cheats tend to lessen as we re - learn how to eat healthy, and we know to accept our faults and move on - because that is truly the only way to make permanent progress. [ / icon_biggrin. gif]. Right now we have a lot of new users and returners who are starting Atkins fresh again, and mistakes and cheats are bound to be made, and it helps to get it off your chest and let it go, rather than hold it inside and let it secretly sabotage your efforts in some way.
If one has no tolerance for slip - ups, and cannot find a way to exist other than to avoid the reality that people need to learn to make their own choices and distance one ' s self from others, than they are only dooming themselves to eventual failure, because then they do not acquire that coping mechanism.
The bottom line here, is that one must learn to cope with others and learn that each person ' s choices are their own. If it takes staying away from an open and supportive forum for the time being, then that ' s perfectly ok - but I feel kind of sad because slip ups will still be inevitable, and then who will be there for support and to say hey it ' s ok just get back to it! Nobody... and that is what saddens me greatly.
The " What I did Right Today " forum sounds like a good idea, but not to the exclusion of the other forum type you mentioned - that ' s not what this forum is all about. This one is about support and reality. Another option also, would be an " Uh - oh I goofed " forum where, if anyone cheated, it could be posted there, and that way folks who are easily influenced by reading about other ' s cheats, could avoid that forum all together but still get the support they needed when they needed it...
Brightest Blessings,
Lisa
InthePresent
Established Member
Joined: 15 Jan 2008
Posts: 143
Sun Feb 03, 2008 5: 38 pm    Post subject:
You are right Bluehex, we can only set bars for ourselves.
You have a lot of patience and kindness - that is clear.
maro
Senior Member
Joined: 11 Jan 2008
Posts: 236
Location: pakistan
Sun Feb 03, 2008 7: 01 pm    Post subject:
sorry guys i am late... was @ gym {i hope going to gym doesnt offend anyone} [ / icon_lol. gif] {i know it can}
Strawberryblonde... if i did got you off track... i didnt meant to.... you have all the right to be mad at me [ / icon_redface. gif]
FOOD POSTER.... i love this term... you guys are way better then me in english
i apologise if i have offended anyone... i respect everyone here
i know i get annoying sometimes... {mostly} [ / icon_redface. gif]...
Last edited by maro on Sun Feb 03, 2008 7: 13 pm; edited 1 time in total
pheonixheart
Senior Member
Joined: 29 Apr 2004
Posts: 665
Location: Florida
Sun Feb 03, 2008 7: 44 pm    Post subject:
* deleted previous comments for better thread continuity - s ' ok Maro we knew the previous was a joke hun * [ / icon_smile. gif]
Maro, you ' re such a sweetie I ' m sure no one ' s mad at you!! Don ' t worry on it at all [ / icon_biggrin. gif]. You ' re an inspiration to a lot of folks on here - myself included!! Just keep on being you [ / icon_biggrin. gif]. That ' s all that ' s important!
Brightest Blessings,
Lisa
Last edited by pheonixheart on Mon Feb 04, 2008 2: 24 am; edited 1 time in total
maro
Senior Member
Joined: 11 Jan 2008
Posts: 236
Location: pakistan
Sun Feb 03, 2008 7: 58 pm    Post subject:
i was just kidding
bluehex
Senior Member
Joined: 03 Dec 2003
Posts: 2663
Location: Warsaw, Poland
Sun Feb 03, 2008 8: 03 pm    Post subject:
Deleted for better continuity
Last edited by bluehex on Mon Feb 04, 2008 7: 06 pm; edited 1 time in total
desertbitch
Senior Member
Joined: 10 Jan 2008
Posts: 367
Location: High Desert, CA.
Sun Feb 03, 2008 8: 39 pm    Post subject:
I will weigh in... haha.
As far as the food being posted in the forum? To me it was no biggie. I see and SMELL real cake every time I go to the market. I have baked REAL cookies last week. That is the real world. I found Maro ' s post very interesting. Especially, since I was the one that asked her about it. It made me even more impressed and inspired by her.
To me reading about people " cheating " or making mistakes and then seeing them continue to work at it and learn AND succeed is very helpful. If I only read success stories it would make me feel like there was something inherently wrong with me. I would wonder if I am the only person who makes mistakes and isnt perfect in my eating. Plus, I read that when people DO " cheat, they feel unhealthy etc.
I certainly cannot blame my lack of weight loss on anything I read here. It is just the opposite.
YMMV.
pheonixheart
Senior Member
Joined: 29 Apr 2004
Posts: 665
Location: Florida
Mon Feb 04, 2008 1: 05 am    Post subject:
* more deleteness for thread continuity hehe *
Last edited by pheonixheart on Tue Feb 05, 2008 3: 29 am; edited 1 time in total
artinformation
Established Member
Joined: 28 Jan 2008
Posts: 123
Mon Feb 04, 2008 6: 22 am    Post subject:
I really enjoy this forum whither, its peoples successes or failures. I feel really happy for the posts that people have had weight losses. I feel sad for people when they have their bad days. The reason is that I know how they feel for falling off the wagon. As a person who has struggled with her weight my entire life, I am sure that I have done most of the things that others do on this forum. I wish I had had someone to support me in the past when I fell off the wagon. Maybe that would have motivated me to get back on. Also this is a way off life not a diet. So if a person can ' t handle reading these posts how will they continue this way of life? Lets say they stop participating on this forum. What happens when they turn on a TV and they see food commercials? Will that be a reason to cave in? What about going out to a resturant? Even if you don ' t order tempting foods others around you will so does this mean that you will never go to a resturant? Temptation is around us 24 hours a day so do we just cave in? The only way to get away from all this temptations in todays world is to live in a deserted island with no other human being, no TV etc etc. Since that is not possilbe we just need to learn to live in this world. We need to be aware that we will always be tempted but we need to overcome our food temptations. We are human is we slip so what. The key is to get back on the wagon after our slip ups. Will I never have a piece of cake, bread or a bowl of pasta for the rest of my life? Probably not. I will but after the slip up I will try to get back on program. I think I am rambling on here so I hope this long post make sense to you guys.
Strawberryblonde
Established Member
Joined: 23 Dec 2007
Posts: 71
Location: Western Australia
Mon Feb 04, 2008 11: 13 am    Post subject:
Oh my god you have got to be kidding me! I was not b * * * ing about anyone, nor did I make mention of those of you mentioning in detail wrong food you ate. I was simply trying to explain that this formula of dieting didn ' t seem to work for me. Mostly going by the fact that the time I had great success in the past was without using forums.
I said you have all been fabulous, you do help each other out and that ' s great, that ' s what the forum is for and if it helps you then it ' s done it ' s job, but for me personally it wasn ' t. That doesn ' t mean it reflects badly on the rest of you. I ' m wired differently that ' s all. I gave it a try and it didn ' t help. I just think that I do better if i ' m inwardly focused with my own feelings and that ' s all. Reading other people ' s emotions confuses my concentration. How is that b * * * * ing about you????
Artinformation, this isinothing to do with temptation, that doesn ' t really change whether I " m on here or not, skinny or fat. That ' s a whole nother kettle of fish.
I really hoped to leave here on a good note, now I ' m feeling attacked for being honest.
Em
Grinder40
New Member
Joined: 15 Jan 2008
Posts: 14
Mon Feb 04, 2008 6: 53 pm    Post subject:
I am one that has faultered very easily from the new eating lifestyle, only because I love beer so easily.
However - it is so true that allowing youself to go off the rails within the disciplines of the diet with acceptable understanding from other posters, is not at all helpfull to get you back on track ( just my opinion only ).
It is so difficult to know if a person will respond to encouragement or 100 % rigid discipline - it must be just a 50 / 50 chance.
I suppose at the end of the day - if you want an excuse to fail with the diet - you just select one.
It ' s up to the individual to succeed - not the diet.
DJJayito
Established Member
Joined: 24 Jan 2008
Posts: 106
Location: Florida
Mon Feb 04, 2008 7: 04 pm    Post subject:
I haven ' t slipped up, but I haven ' t been losing weight. I think this diet was easier when I did it, 6 - 7 years ago, there were no " phatom foods " as people call them... You ate eggs and bacon / tuna salad or something / salad / meat. it was pretty simple to follow, but hard to stick to, but when you did, it worked.
desertbitch
Senior Member
Joined: 10 Jan 2008
Posts: 367
Location: High Desert, CA.
Tue Feb 05, 2008 7: 36 am    Post subject:
Strawberry,
sorry you are feeling attacked. I was actually responding to INthepresent more than you anyway, hopefully she doesnt feel attacked, too.
you have to do what is best your your brain.
hugs?
[ / icon_smile. gif] [ / icon_smile. gif]
Strawberryblonde
Established Member
Joined: 23 Dec 2007
Posts: 71
Location: Western Australia
Tue Feb 05, 2008 11: 15 am    Post subject:
Think I might bow out gracefully..... or ungracefully depending on your opinion.
Hope the whoosh fairy makes it round to you all soon.
No hard feelings??
Em
Grinder40
New Member
Joined: 15 Jan 2008
Posts: 14
Tue Feb 05, 2008 6: 21 pm    Post subject:
Bow out & it is an admission you failed - like it or not it ' s true.
Stick with the problems & hardship of this diet & opinions ( or any other new diet ) & you may win & get your weight loss you desire.
It is so easy to blame others for something or say - ' Oh well that didn ' t work as I hoped, & it is everyone else at fault '.
The truth is - you just failed. The fault is yours & all the blame pointed at others, is just self justification to yourself that you have really failed.
Good luck in the future, as another time & another place may help in getting your determination together to be successful with what you want to achieve - weight loss.
Next time - don ' t give up so easy.
pheonixheart
Senior Member
Joined: 29 Apr 2004
Posts: 665
Location: Florida
Tue Feb 05, 2008 7: 54 pm    Post subject:
Strawberryblonde wrote:
Think I might bow out gracefully..... or ungracefully depending on your opinion.
Hope the whoosh fairy makes it round to you all soon.
No hard feelings??
Em
Awww hun you ' re perfectly fine - you gotta do what you gotta do even though I ' ll miss your posts around here [ / icon_smile. gif]. Just know that if you do need us for some support sometime - whether it ' s because of a slip - up or a stall or a " just because " we ' ll still be here for you!!! Okey dokey? [ / icon_biggrin. gif]? Best of luck!!!
Brightest Blessings,
Lisa
desertbitch
Senior Member
Joined: 10 Jan 2008
Posts: 367
Location: High Desert, CA.
Wed Feb 06, 2008 5: 21 am    Post subject:
sorry Strawberry.
it ' s no biggie. Come back if you want to, we will hopefully still doing this. I have a year left. SO come back soon.
[ / icon_redface. gif]
Strawberryblonde
Established Member
Joined: 23 Dec 2007
Posts: 71
Location: Western Australia
Wed Feb 06, 2008 9: 21 am    Post subject:
Oh gawd you lot, I ' m not giving up on the diet, just spending less time on the computer. I ' ve lost another kilo this week so I haven ' t failed by any measure. How is losing 8 kg ( 16plus pounds ) so far having failed? I still don ' t seem to have gotten across that coming on the forum just makes it hard to concentrate and I could have lost more. I ' m still on the diet. Using the forum is not the only way to do atkins.
Why are you all so willing to believe I would just give up and say it was too hard?, buuuut if it makes you feel better about your own efforts then believe what you will. Siiiiggghhh I ' m just trying to duplicate some of the environment of my first success I had and nixing the forum is part of it.
I " m going now, seriously, not coming back to see what you think, really....... I don ' t care.....
Actually i guess I do. I ' ll take the number of replies on this whole thread as a sign that you do care.
[ / icon_wink. gif] Em
desertbitch
Senior Member
Joined: 10 Jan 2008
Posts: 367
Location: High Desert, CA.
Thu Feb 07, 2008 4: 02 am    Post subject:
You totally rock! Even if you never read this! [ / icon_exclaim. gif]
artinformation
Established Member
Joined: 28 Jan 2008
Posts: 123
Thu Feb 07, 2008 10: 14 am    Post subject:
We are sorrry to see you leave. Lots of good luck on your weight loss plan. Take care of yourself.